A Grandmother's Love

                                                                  

Remember that first day when you got the news? You were going to be a grandparent!

WoW! Are you sure? Can this be real? Am I old enough for this to even be possible?  Guess so!

All of a sudden, the sky looks bluer. The birds tweeted louder. All in your world looked brighter. You dreamed of exciting days on the horizon: cuddle time, reading time, play time at the park.  Endless fun to anticipate. 

My first grandchild was born in Houston. That is a half a country away. I jokingly (somewhat) told them they could live in Texas but don't go having my grandbabies in Texas. That's exactly what they went and did!

My second grandchild came to reside in Tennessee. That is far but a more doable distance. We got the phone call that labor had begun. We could hop in the car and arrive shortly thereafter. Arrive we did. Excited we were. 

Some things just aren't fair. You live here. They live there. 

That meant my introductory season of grandparenting was full of all my grandkids living in a foreign land. This land was too far for me to connect with them on a regular basis. Quantity time, which is always best, was only a remote possibility because they lived remote. I had to pull up my boot straps and muster up extra purpose and plan to foster greater closeness.

This is what we all must do. Long distance grandparenting is the reality for a large majority of us. It's not for the faint of heart. We have to make the most of the circumstances we are given. The sustaining question - how do we remain close when distance keeps us at a distance?

It's not always easy but always worthwhile.

When our grands were extra young, it was extra challenging. You have to reintroduce yourself with each call and every visit. It gets to be funny when they give you a long stare down - thinking you look familiar but still have no idea who you actually are. This happened to us again and again. One particular time when we traveled to Houston to watch our oldest granddaughter as her baby sister was being born, we were to pick her up from a friend's house to keep her for a week. We walked in the door making the usual enthusiastic grandparent greetings to find her blank stare eyeing us hesitantly. We lifted her out of her highchair and hightailed it to our rental car before she could openly object. We teach kids to not go away with strangers. She most likely thought we were a bit strange, 'cause we are, but familiar enough to go away with us.  

As we all know, everything of value takes work. The joy and privilege of grandparenting is of utmost worth. We long to grandparent grandly. We can. We do. We will.

When we make the drive and a visit ensues, we can feel the pressure to make it an extravaganza on a large scale. We have such few in person opportunities. It must be memory making. We don't have the luxury to be ho hum. We have to be memorable to be remembered.

You're also not around all the time so have to learn each time what are the likes, dislikes, top toys, and top triggers. What would they most like for lunch? Don't know. What's their favorite activity? Don't have a clue. What we learn this week can totally change next week. We can ask. We should ask. 

Visits can be humbling too. Nothing wrong with that. On a family vacation snuggling with my  four-year-old granddaughter as I had read to her, sang to her, and tucked her tenderly into bed...She said "Grandgie, do you know what?" I awaited her tender sweet comment of how she treasured our time together. Instead, her response - "Grandgie, you're old!" Yep! It is what it is!! Grandmas are supposed to be old. It comes with the job description. Might as well embrace it!

After just spending 5 days of care and fun of our 3 in Tennessee, the oldest reflected sadness that we were getting ready to leave. I'm thinking we are sharing a touching moment but she more reflected she was going to miss our beloved "Murphy" who had come with us. Our dog has his place. We all must learn our place! 

Our desire is to squeeze in the largest amount of visits possible. If the perfect plan doesn't happen often enough, we have to rely on dreaded technology. We do not want our grandkids to get prematurely addicted to screens but screens are the only means we have to let them see our beautiful face and know our beautiful heart. 

That takes cooperation and coordination on both sides. Both sides must desire our closeness with those precious little ones. It has to become a priority here and there.

We mean well. We just don't know what to do. We'd love to facetime all the time. We have more time to do so. They are in the busiest stage of life.They don't have the time. We don't want to impose. We wait our turn. We make the most of the time when the phone rings. 

My grandkids are older now so they do recognize my face on the other screen. They may be more captivated by the screen itself than by me, but I'll pretend that isn't the case. We do what we can do. We lovingly accept what we are given.

I'm hoping my 3rd children's picture book can address what many of us share. No matter how far away our grandchildren live from us, even if down the street, we all want to foster greater connection and closeness. This doesn't automatically happen in any relationship and it won't just happen with our grandkids. We must purposefully plan and make ourselves present in our grandchildren's lives as much as possible. My book may awake the mental facilities to flowing with more creativity of how to do just that. 

Buy it for a friend. Buy it for yourself just in time for Grandparent's Day this Sunday. 

You deserve it! Hope you enjoy it. Please let me know and spread the news of it. 

Thank you very much! 💛

This perfect gift                                                 

can give a lift

to you and to your kin

with helpful ways

to keep in touch

for all that is a win!