That Never Ending Question - What's for Dinner?

                                                                       

                                                                           

It's a little after 4:00pm over here. That time of day has arrived - every day - every stinking day - when the question comes up and out...What's for dinner?! 

More than one can voice this question. Typically, only one is to have the answer.

Not again! Yes, over and over and over again and again and again...

This prevalent question has been a part of my daily agenda for the past 40 years. I'll do the math for you. That's 14.600 times! That often I have heard the question verbalized out loud or heard it floating around in my head.

I didn't mind this question too much when I first heard it asked. I did feel the answer landed square on my non-broad shoulders.  

Meal planning and execution was the single aspect of marriage that brought me the greatest fears of inadequacy. This ranked higher than the other typical areas of complexity - sex, finances, in laws. I couldn't fathom coming up with a meal plan 7 days a week some 50 plus years. If I had accounted for leftovers, it might have lessened my anxiety a bit. No one suggested that as a factor of consideration. This wasn't just mind-blowing to me but mind-exploding.

As a new bride, I would peruse the many cookbooks I received as shower gifts. Cookbook after cookbook. Recipe after recipe. Book marked. Underlined. Highlighted. I gathered quite a vast selection of dishes to try. My menu got planned a week ahead and often many months out. 

I got a little carried away hoping that would take my concerns away. I surprised myself and the man in my household that I did not repeat a single recipe for over a year! My new husband longed for me to repeat that one dish he enjoyed a few months back. Not a chance. He was too cautious to ask in fear of messing up my system. I was on a roll. Didn't want to break this young wife's stride...

We still laugh about the time I made my first lasagna. I knew it was one of my hubby's favorite dishes so I wanted to make it for him. I announced this endeavor was to take place a couple of days away. It was to be on Thursday's menu. We started salivating over it on Tuesday.

Thursday arrives. The necessary grocery items have been pre-purchased. I give myself credit for that. I get home around 6:30pm after a full day of work and a full session working out. My inaugural-lasagna-making begins. I had never seen it made before. My mom didn't eat tomatoes. My dad didn't eat cheese. I had no concept of all involved. How hard can it be? We'll see...

Again...we've been waiting since Tuesday. We're both beyond starving in expectation. It's 6:30pm and I was just now starting? Yes, it is what it is.  As you would predict, we're destined for disaster. It's around 7:30 when the noodles get boiled, the hamburger gets browned, the sauce gets stirred, the cheese gets shredded, and all layers get layered. The dish of choice gets placed eagerly and tenderly into the amply pre-heated oven. We both watch and stare hoping to speed up the process. Don't know why. It's probably documented somewhere that it actually slows things down. Never a good idea. A better idea would have been to snack on some cheese and crackers but no! We've waited and suffered this long. 

We Will Wait for Lasagna!!

Our meal is cooking. We can see that. It's bubbling. The new concern is it's not getting brown or crispy. We give up after 8:00pm on any browning. No browning. No crisping. You wouldn't believe the jiggling and the splashing it made as I tearfully carried my creation to my awaiting husband. Is this what lasagna is supposed to look like? I didn't think so but we were too hungry, too grumpy, too tired to care. We sat. We took the time to say a quick prayer of thanks. We were very thankful! As we opened our eyes, we couldn't believe our eyes. This sloshy jiggly mess had congealed into a solid mass during our time of prayer. A knife was required to serve out our portions. 

The meal was great but not because it was great. Anything tastes great when you bring your meal recipient to the point of starvation. It wasn't until sometime later when it dawned on me...You dummy! Forehead slap. You didn't drain the ground beef before dumping it into the lasagna! You should know this wasn't entirely my fault. I was using one of my new gifted community cookbooks - the ones with compiled down-home recipes from a church group or organization. This particular one left off a critical step this novice cook needed to guide her step by step. Drain the meat. Lesson learned.

I've risen from that. I've grown to do better than that. Our arteries didn't fill with hamburger grease for long. My husband also learned to lower his dinner time expectations. Lower expectations are among the most life-giving things in life. Lesson learned.

That first cooking challenge led to more cooking challenges. How in the world do you keep 4 burly men fed and full inside of one house with one mom?! Quite a feat. The stomach of teen boys never reaches the level of full. How can a refrigerator hold the necessary gallons of milk along with everything else?

My oldest son even had an athletic trainer who required him to eat 6 full meals each day. Thank you, Mr. Trainer! That food responsibility fell on dear 'ole mom. After dinner got cleared, I had to start prepping his breakfast of steel-cut oats in the crockpot.

 Is it time to eat again?! I just cleaned up the kitchen.

Changing dietary needs through the years sure makes menu planning fun. Eye roll. After a 2010 cancer diagnosis, I had to cut out an insane amount of food groups to keep my non-curable cancer at bay. I'm not as disciplined as I once was but still alive and kicking!  Remember it was challenging for me to come up with menu plans anyway. Now my hands felt tied with all the additional limitations.

The latest challenge is plain weariness. I've done pretty well keeping everyone healthy and fed. It was a big mountain to climb. It is for all of us. Now they've been fed and I'm fed up. I don't open up those cookbooks too often of late. I'm trying to eat to live not live to eat. That's Biblical, you know! That means my meals fill the void but don't win any contests. I have had 2 different cake recipes win contests. Wish we could only eat cake.

The simpler the meal often the healthier it typically is. Lately, we are going for healthy. Healthy isn't exciting. I don't get fired up to whip up some brussels sprouts. No one gets fired up to eat them either!

I'm growing less and less particular on my menu selections. There is an Instagram feed blowing up right now because it strikes a common nerve. Have you heard of Melani's, "We Do Not Care Club"? I am a member of that club in regard to cooking. I've planned all those 14,600 meals. It's my opinion and hope that I have paid my dues and reached my meal max. I grow weary of hearing the dreaded question each and every day. 

I'd prefer to have crackers and chicken salad or just the salad. Men need / want more. I don't care. If you care then you pick. That would relieve me of the daily head-scratching dilemma. I'm all in for a life with less dilemma.

Thankfully, my husband is easy to please. He's accommodating. I feel extra sorry for those of you who's man doesn't stand leftovers. When I cook, I cook with leftovers in mind and in the pan. Less work. More output. Works better for me. 

I realize we both need to eat, but I don't care anymore to plan it, prep it, make it. I don't want a maid or a chauffeur. A personal chef would be nice. That just might be worth every penny it costs. 

If it wasn't such a necessity to eat, maybe I'd not eat and lose some weight?! Scratch that...I've tried intermittent fasting many times and gain weight each time. Don't know how. Don't know why. Not fair. Totally not fair!

Don't you think? What do you think?

Are you weary of cooking too? Have you hired a personal chef as an accessory in your kitchen? Have you become accustom to those box meals or Uber Eats? Eating out more frequently? It is much easier to find an available table for a party of two. Even asking the question, "Where should we go?" gets taxing at times. 

This daily dreaded decision gets asked earlier and earlier in the day as we collect more years. We used to eat around 6:30pm so the question got asked around 5:00pm. We now aim to eat by 6:00pm. Be at restaurants by 5:30pm. That's what old people do. We fall right in line. Repeated question arises around 4:00pm. 

Goodness Gracious! I just finished lunch!! 

What are you doing for dinner? Please share in comments below. 

Beef, chicken, ham or stew?

What to choose? What to do?

I don't care. You pick too.

A chef hat looks real good on you!