Get On Out There

                                              

When you've been together as long as we have, you gotta look for new ways to foster greater connection. It's important. It's not so easy to do. 

Have the two of you become too predictable? Have we? Do you feel like you've done almost everything together already?

Take restaurants for example.  On Friday nights can we find you at the same place at the same time? Does the hostess at said restaurant know you by name? Do you order the same entree again and again? I'm scared to ask if you dine with the 5:00 crowd or with the 7:00? I plead the fifth to protect the innocent on that one!

Is your weekly television schedule pretty set where Mr. Remote Control already knows what shows to select? Hopefully not News then Wheel of Fortune then Jeopardy!

Is your tv turned off or left on during dinner? Has that changed in your Empty Nest years? No debate and no question ours was turned off while our kids were in the house. Now with just us two big kids, I must confess the news is often turned on while we eat. That can help or hinder digestion depending on the day. 😐

It is easy to get into a rut. We've done the same things for so long. It's challenging to break through. We must break out and break free.

Part of our womanly appeal is the allure. Men love the chase and the art of discovery. Do we still keep them guessing? Are we still growing and trying to better ourselves? Or are we satisfied with our status quo?

Let's work together to keep them guessing and to keep them on their toes. How do we do that after so much familiarity and after so many years...or decades?!

Well, I made a feeble attempt to shake things up a bit. I got a bee in my bonnet or should I say some bee buzzed in my helmet! I became a "Biker Babe." If you know me personally, this is not the path you would have predicted for me. This is a big stretch and way out of my character. It is definitely not in my comfort zone. There is no comfort on those slender seats. My seat isn't so slender so it doesn't line up!

My run as a "Biker Babe" was short-lived. Why did I even start this run? To lean into my husband and to embrace what he loves. I tried. I promise.

Men love adventure and my man is no different. Add a little danger all the better. Experiencing danger is not on my bucket list.

My hubby has had 4 different bikes during our marriage. He traded his smaller first bike for a Gold Wing to provide a wider and more cushioned seat. Why you might ask? To accommodate his wife's wider seat that requires more cushion!

So, overnight I officially became a "Biker Babe." Guess it's the next best thing to my not being a "Trophy Wife." I got all the gear to be dressed for the part. I was looking hot from head to toe. Well, more honestly, I just got hot head to toe due to all the protective layers I needed to wear!

To say I was scared is an extreme understatement. I was peeing petrified! I was determined to push through my utter terror to foster greater connection with my husband. I wanted to join him in his world of adventure. 

To get out of a rut we were to get out into the wild blue yonder.

We're off. I think I can. I think I can. I held on so tight to the side handle grips, I thought my arms would fall off. I wasn't about to put my arms around my driver's waist. What if I accidentally squeezed too tight or accidentally tickled him making him veer off the road? Nope. Not me. Not risking us.

I'm proud to say I was okay and pretty calm driving within our subdivision. Pat on back. Going on the main road where others also dared to be was a different story. I forced myself to take in the sights and smells. This required me keeping my eyes open. I did notice how aromatic fresh-cut grass smelled with my eyes closed.  

Scenery can be beautiful but you have to have your eyes open and lean way out to get a view around your driver's helmet. Nope. No leaning out for me. The wind is soothing. The sound of a buzzing bike is relaxing if you can ever get to the point of relaxing. Nope. Never got to relaxing for me. 

The pain in my arms lasted a couple of days. A couple of days after that a new pain erupted. I had this agonizing strange sensation on just the right side of my scalp. My youngest son diagnosed my ailment. He'd been watching enough tv commercials to diagnose accurately. Shingles. It is brought on by stress. This breakout occurred a mere 2 days after my first motorcycle ride. Guess that was the evidence of how stressed I was with this new marriage connecting venture.

I felt physically bad. My husband felt emotionally bad for me. He had no idea motorcycle riding would stress me to that level. Neither did I. We went out on a few more rides where I was able to relax...somewhat. I was willing and trying to keep on truckin. My husband didn't want to put me through the stress so he traded in the Gold Wing for bike #4. He didn't need such a wide bike for less of a wide load.

It was a great ride while it lasted. Sort of. I have some hot momma good lookin gear if you want to buy it. I'll give you a good deal! 

Here's the deal: Get out there. Do what you can with who you can. It's totally okay for each of us to have our own interests. We just shouldn't hinder their interests as we don't want hindrance with ours. It's even a healthy idea to have different experiences so you have something to talk about when you get back together. Maybe we'd even turn the news off at dinner to share!

An added bonus is my husband's motorcycle rides give me added opportunity to pray. I'm thankful I didn't know he conquered "Dragon's Tale" until after "Dragons Tail" was done. I give a huge sigh of relief and a big thank you prayer to God when I hear that buzzing bike come up the driveway safe and sound.

We step out of our comfort zone and sometimes we're better off to step back in. When my man wanted me to live in the back of a truck cab when he wanted to be a cross-country trucker, I gave him a hard "No"!!

I have my boundaries. Cushion. I must have cushion.

                                                                       

I busted at biking

but at least I did try.

I'll seek other ways

to connect with my guy.